I have only had this blog up for 2 1/2 weeks and so far I have mostly kept my posts upbeat, about family, or something educational. This post however is going to be more personal:
Two Steps Forward And One Step Back
Since the birth of my second, and last child, I have been dealing with a lot of health issues. I have already posted some about it so if you want to know more Click Here. One thing that I haven’t talked much about is the exhausting physical pain that I have been going through on a daily basis. Not to mention the helplessness of not knowing, until about 3 months ago, what was going on with my body. Being a Christian has helped tremendously, without Christ by my side and knowing that He has a purpose for all that I have gone through, I know this journey would be much more difficult.
One of the biggest external issues I have had to deal with is, I don’t look sick. The hurtful part is, how I have been treated by some simply because they don’t understand what I am going through. Some people have even accused me of being a hypochondriac, that I was just making things up in order to make people feel sorry for me. What they don’t realize is, I’m not a complainer, I’m not going to sit and mope around all sad and depressed. What I really do is have a little talk with Jesus and say, “OK God, here we go, we’ve got this,” I wipe away any tears and put a smile on my face and do the best that I can do. During your hardest trials you find who your true friends are.
Does this make me a hypocrite or fake, I don’t think so. I still love, laugh, and try to forget the pain. I’m not going to be the Eor of the party.
I try to take on the mentality, which all people should, not just Christians, that you never know what the next person is going through. No matter what trial we are going through, there will always be someone worse, someone who might need the smile that you give through your own pain. I know God won’t give me more then I can handle (although I have had my times of questioning, “Why Lord?”). He has a perfect plan, as long as we don’t mess things up.
God, being the gentleman that he is will not force His will on anyone. However, when you seek after His will, trust that He knows what He is doing, and allow yourself to let go of all control over your situation, you are able to let go of so much. You let go of worry: He is the alpha and omega, meaning He is the beginning and the end, time does not contain Him and he knows the outcome of every situation. You let go of stress: God is all powerful; nothing you will go through will be bigger then Him. You are able to be at peace with your situation: relying on God who can heal the sick, the blind, the lame, and the dead!
So, why call this post, “Two Steps Forward And One Step Back” and then right all that I have above? Because I need to remind myself of all these things. A very small handful of people know that I have been on some form of pain killers for over 2 years now. When I was diagnosed with IBS I was up to 4 Norco 10s a day and still in a lot of pain So much pain that I had multiple trips to the ER thinking I was going to die. Now the “Two Steps Forward” part (which I give God all the glory for) is that I have been slowly backing off of the pain killers to the point that I have been without any pain medication for 6 days now!!! And I haven’t felt this good in years!
Why then the “One Step Back?” I am on the low FODMAP diet for my IBS which restricts you from eating anything having too much glucose, fructose, and lactose. (click here for info on the FODMAP diet via WebMD) This morning, as I do every morning, made a pot of coffee, made myself a cup, added creamer and honey, and started my day. What I didn’t even think about was: I normally buy Nestle Hazelnut Creamer as it is non-dairy, but the International Delight Coldstone Hot For Cookie was on sale and I had a coupon which made it only 50 cents! Who could pass up such a good deal? Well apparently I will be from now on! .
It has sent me into a world of hurt! I learned the hard way when dealing with IBS you NEED to read the labels!!
I know it is going to be a processes learning the good and bad things to eat and although there are some foods that effect anyone with IBS, most if it varies from person to person. Even with the pain I am dealing with as I am writing, I have so much joy just knowing, FINALLY, what is going on and how to go about fixing it: Diet, Exercise, and Lots of Prayer!